I had a difficult time trying to identify a “tipping point” in my
professional life. The biggest challenge
I have with identifying my own tipping points is first trying to define
“tipping point”. Boyatzis tells us in
his video that we reach a culminating peak of emotion and then the tipping
point happens when we bring the intensity down (olawale riceco fanfaronado,
2013). He also tells us that the tipping
point is an experience in our life that pushes us into a state of excellence;
something like an “a-ha” moment. Another
example he gives is the positivity ratio which states that for every one
negative emotion or behavior we must express three positive ones to balance it
out. Author Malcom Gladwell wrote a book called The Tipping Point. In his book he describes the tipping point as
“that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold,
tips, and spreads like wildfire” (Gladwell.com, n.d.). My favorite definition was found on the
WhatIs.com website. Here it is defined
as “the critical point in an evolving situation that leads to a new and
irreversible development” ("Tipping point, n.d.").
Based on this definition, I can recall a turn
of events at my job that probably defined my biggest tipping point. My job can be very stressful. There are a lot of demands put upon us as
well as stringent deadlines. My director
and I are a two man team and together we run two sites. Needless to say, we have to run a very
seamless tight ship. For the first year
together there were some growing pains as we got to know each other and
discovered each others strengths and weaknesses. After about a year and a half we had a
falling out. There was a huge
misunderstanding and our relationship hit a dead end. We no longer trusted and confided in each
other and there was some bitterness and resentment on my end and probably on
her end as well. We continued to work
together but our interactions were frigid.
Dissonance began clouding our office and we were both miserable. I was depressed and unhappy and sometimes
even cried on Sundays because I did not want to go to work the next day. My job performance suffered and I was having
trouble staying on task. The stress of
our job responsibilities mixed with the stress created by our strained
relationship heightened the level of stress in the office. I am a very empathetic person and am very
sensitive to other people’s emotions. If
I sense a person is not happy with me or is feeling negatively towards me, I
become very upset and will ruminate over these thoughts over and over
again. Boyatzis and McKee (2005) tell us
how chronic stress affects our brain function and capacity to learn. They explain that “as a result of this
activity, we begin to feel more anxious, nervous, stressed, or even
depressed. In this agitated state, we
have an increased tendency to feel we are losing control and to perceive things
that people say or do as threatening or negative” (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005, p. 43).
I believe that my director and I reached a tipping point
together. I think the stress and
negative energy had reached a boiling point.
Amazingly, we both somehow reached a common awareness of the situation. I believe we both were ready to take steps
towards renewal. I think the culminating
stress along with the confinement of working so closely together forced us to
an awareness and acceptance of not only our weaknesses, but our strengths. My director’s self-control and level of
emotional intelligence during this precarious time for us was very inspiring to
me and made me realize and want to emanate that same behavior. Boyatzis discussed in his video that a
tipping point can be reached when an individual makes such an impact in our
life that it tips us into a mode of improved performance (olawale riĉeco fanfaronado, 2013). We become a better version of ourselves. Despite the issues that impacted us
negatively, I realized that her leadership qualities were admirable. Bennis and Thomas describe these significant
events as “crucibles” which are “transformative experience through which an
individual comes to a new or an altered sense of identity” (Toor & Ofori, 2008, p. 215).
My director and I now are involved in a synergistic and resonant
relationship. We have found an amazing
balance where we tap into each other’s strengths and skills in a way that has
made our campus as efficient as ever. I
have accepted my weaknesses and recognize my defensive routines and try to
avoid negatively engaging in them. In
turn, I allow her to help me and accept her feedback as sincere counsel and not
criticism. I have become more
emotionally intelligent.
References
