A641.9.3RB_PALUGODCAROLYN

Dear Carolyn,

Your personal vision is to start up a nonprofit organization that exists to help both animals and people alike.  Through your nonprofit you will have the adequate support and resources to rescue abandoned and abused animals and give them either a temporary home or a permanent home.  You will also use the resources of your organization to help people in the form of therapy by using the animals to help heal people of different emotional diseases such as autism, depression, personal grief, addiction and many other mental and emotional illnesses.  

You have three learning goals that you need to achieve in order to reach your personal vision.  The first learning goal is to complete your Leadership degree.  This degree will give you the tools to lead the kind of people you need to make your nonprofit a success.  It will also help you to make the necessary contacts and relationships with top leaders in the nonprofit sector who have similar missions as the one you are striving for.  My milestones for this goal is to take one class per term.  Therefore in this situation I actually have five milestones since that is how many classes I have left.  

The next learning goal is to become educated in fundraising and grant-writing.  After my Master’s I would like to enroll in a few online grant writing courses.  Embry-Riddle actually offers a certificate through their professional education department called Introduction to Grant Research and Writing Certificate.  My milestones for the second goal is first to finish the Masters.  The second milestone would be to take the certificate course.  The third milestone would be to gain experience through grant-writing by maybe volunteering to write some grants for other organizations.  

A third goal is to begin networking and creating my support system or what Annie McKee, Boyatzis and Johnston (2008) term as my board of directors.  I also am in the process of networking with different animal protection agencies in the area.  I would like to volunteer at our local animal shelter which is a nonprofit, and this way gain some experience and insight on how they run their organization.  Also, through this experience I have a greater chance of meeting and connecting with individuals and organizations or entities that can help support me.  My milestones for this goal are first to volunteer for the local shelter in the summer.  My second milestone would be to become an active member of a few animal rights organizations and possibly offer assistance.  My third milestone would be to create a local support group who share my same idealisms.  We could get together for brain storming sessions and ways to help the animals in our communities.  We could also work closely with our local shelters and maybe set up volunteer work forces for certain events.

The key people who will support me in my personal vision would be my family and colleagues from my office as well as a few friends.  These people all share the same passion for animals as I do and in fact many have participated with me in personal animal rescues in the past.  I feel that my “board of directors” or support team are the ideal kind of like-minded people that I need to move forward with this dream.  Mostly because they all know me very well and we have very resonant relationships.  

References

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader. Boston, MA: Harvard Business Press.

A641.7.3.RB_PALUGODCAROLYN

After completing the exercises, compose a reflection blog on what you learned about your lifeline, social identities, strengths, and roles.

Creating a lifeline was a very interesting experience.  Seeing my entire life lined up in one line really put everything into perspective.  It also made me realize how circular everything really was, like a set of patterns that keep repeating themselves.  There have been 2 important deaths in my life, that of my best friend and of my father.  Both died of the same rare disease which makes these 2 events that much more significant to me.  I also noticed that after every great depression I experienced, I also spiraled out through a transition period that was very positive.  The famous saying “you have to hit rock bottom and then you can only go up” is really true.  I have not been able to really make real important changes in my life until I’ve sunk to the deepest ends of myself.  I noticed also while looking at the life line I created that my lowest points in life also coincided with the ending of a relationship.  I have had a very rocky and unsuccessful love life due to the fact that I attract or invite the wrong kinds of people into my life.  I used to attribute this to my horrible ability of reading people, but now I’ve realized, and seen the pattern, that my overwhelming compassion actually attracts me to people who are damaged.  Unfortunately, I still have not learned that damaged people have to fix themselves.  This pattern of trying to fix people is self-evident on my timeline as well.  The timeline shows my personal high points after my transitional phases.  But, I also see in my timeline that failed relationships bring me crashing down from these high points where I begin the whole process again. 

The exercise on social identities and roles ties me very closely to the military life.  My father was Navy so we traveled and moved extensively.  I am accustomed to living in different countries and experiencing different cultures.  I’m also used to making and losing friends on a regular basis.  I think what affects me the most about my social identity is that I have learned to adapt easily to any environment. I have no trouble making friends, changing jobs, changing partners in relationships.  I have a true lack of stability in my life.  Even today, I am 43 and living with my mother because of a recent separation with my husband.  It seems this pattern has repeated itself throughout my life.  This instability has also made me feel victimized by the world giving me a sense that I have no control over my life and the things that happen to me.  Because of all these changes I have always felt like I don’t fit in anywhere.  I am completely covered in tattoos and it seems that I consciously mold myself into someone that is completely different from others.  I avoid the norm, dress differently than everyone else and hate conforming.  Yet I have a very deep desire to be accepted and loved.  I am a living contradiction where I shun people out but at the same time try to reel them into my life.

When drawing out my social web, I became acutely aware that it is very small.  I do not have a relationship with my extended family therefore the only family members who I have any relationship with at all are my mother, my brother and his wife, and my nephew.  Until recently, I had a relationship with my husband who was the center of my existence.  I do not really have any friends here, only coworkers and acquaintances.  I make friends easily, but I don’t open up personally to people, and tend to keep my personal feelings private.  Therefore, you could say my friendships are very superficial with the people here because I have not lived in Spain very long.  My most harmonious relationship unfortunately is with my friends who are in the States.  The relationship with my family has been dissonant because I’ve always been the black sheep of the family.  Yet, as I currently am going through a separation with my husband, I have discovered an unconditional love and support from my mother that I was not aware of or had forgotten.  The relationship that was most draining was with my husband.  He is a very needy person who does not like an independent woman.  His cultural background, being a Spaniard, is very “machista” and therefore he feels I have a responsibility to be more attentive to him.

These exercises have been helpful to me because I’ve been able to see some repetitive negative patterns.  Seeing this visually helps me to be more mindful of these traps so I can avoid them.