Reflect on the role of collaboration and getting to resolution in
the process of decision-making. Rarely, if ever, do our decisions affect only
ourselves. Consider the importance of getting other stakeholders involved; how
can they help you make a better decision for all? Detail a specific
situation where you are faced with the decision, describe the process you went
through and the outcome you were seeking. Identify 5 ways stakeholder
involvement can help you make better decisions. Did you achieve your objective?
Looking back at the decision you made and its consequence, was there
anyone else that would have added value to the process? Identify 3 ways you may
use this learning experience to make better decisions in the future?
Making a decisions, especially if it is something that impacts
your life, or is of great value to you, is not something that should be done
alone even if the final decision falls on you.
I believe most of us seek out the opinions and advice of other people
when trying to make a decision. Planning
my wedding for example was something that required a lot of collaboration from
a lot of people. The stakeholders being
my husband to be at the time and my family played a huge role in the final
outcome.
For example, the guest list alone was something that needed to be
collaborated. Even though it was my
wedding, everyone involved felt they had a say in who was invited and who
wasn’t. There were conflicts, for
example with my mother who wanted to invite family members who I did not even know,
yet she felt it was the political thing to do since they were part of her
family. These resolutions were reached
through compassionate dialogue, disclosure and listening. Levine (2009) tells us that “full disclosure
is evidence of a good-faith effort to work together toward resolution” (p.
96). She made me understand that
although it may not seem important to me, having them at my wedding was
important to her. I wanted my mom to be
happy, and I also understood that she wanted to share this proud moment with
her family. We came to an easy agreement
because I was willing to listen to her needs.
The other stakeholders in my wedding were other members of my
family and especially close friends.
Everyone had an emotionally vested interest in my wedding as I believe
they all wanted me to be happy but also, they wanted to enjoy the event as
well. In planning the food and drinks,
it was important for me to collaborate with my friends and the best man. There was conflict with the best man because
he felt that there were certain elements needed in regards to the bar. He insisted that an open bar was important
and it would make our guests happier, but we felt that it was way out of our
budget. Because he was also our lawyer,
he was used to an attitude of “winning” and debated this mercilessly. We had requested his help in organizing our
wedding and he was unwilling to see our side of things and felt ownership over
the process. We didn’t want to upset him
since he was offering his help voluntarily and out of the kindness of his
heart. Levine (2009) tells us that the
challenge is to “let go of ego concerns” (p. 56) which was the most difficult
part of the conflict for him. During this
conflict we used one of Levine’s principles of new thinking which was becoming open. We sat down with the best man and had a
heart to heart, explaining our budget and concerns but all within the context
of our love and respect for him. We
entered into what Levine calls the “truth circle” and were able to open his
eyes to our perspective. A generous
compromise was reached where an open bar was offered but for a limited time.
Stakeholders can assist in the decision-making process in many
ways. They can act as mediators helping
those involved to openly communicate with each other. Not only as the job of a referee but also as
a vested individual in the situation.
Stakeholders can tell their stories and begin a domino effect in which
each person in the group feels more comfortable to divulge their feelings and
concerns. Stakeholders can add new
perspective and allow you to see another angle of the situation. They can help you avoid that myoptic view and
look at the conflict more holistically.
Stakeholders can also act as a resource, contributing their skills and
experiences to the situation. Lastly,
they can add to the creative process.
Returning to my wedding, I feel that the collaboration of my
family and friends did help me gain my objective which was to have a successful
and happy wedding. The fact that
everyone was willing to listen put us all on a path to learning about each
other and learning how to work with each other.
Levine explains that the process of learning lets you “discover,
explore, and learn with everyone else what the best solution is” (2009, p.
98). Coming into the planning of the
wedding everyone had an expectation of what it was supposed to be like and how
it should be planned. The key was to
align the expectations of each person with a common vision. I believe we were able to achieve this
objective.
Looking back I think that we had a generous amount of opinions and
views to make the wedding a dynamic and fulfilling event. Although there could have been other
stakeholders that might have been able to add to the process, I think generally
speaking the essential parts were covered.
However, I do feel there could have been improvements in how some
decisions were made. First of all, I
think that a preliminary vision could have been set forth by the bride and
groom in the beginning. Seeing that the
wedding was ours and we had a higher vested interest in the outcome, a set
preliminary vision could have at least set a standard for all the stakeholders
to follow. I think a brainstorming
session before the planning with everyone involved would have been beneficial. At my wedding we never actually sat down in a
meeting with all the people who would be involved in the planning process and
instead met with each person individually. A group meeting, or set of meetings would have
allowed all of us to share ideas and stories and listen to each person’s
perspective.
Levine’s cycle of conflict resolution does provide an excellent
roadmap for resolving conflict and assisting in problem-solving experiences. This is an excellent tool that can be used
for wedding-planning or any other planning that is highly personal and
emotional by nature.
References
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